By Kevin Coughlin
Sure, we could interview Aztec Two-Step. Rex Fowler and Neal Shulman are celebrating 45 years of making music together, at The Sanctuary Concerts in Chatham this Saturday, March 19, 2016. That’s a big deal.
But Rex and Neal have given plenty of interviews over the decades. (Listen to our podcast.)
On the other hand, nobody ever interviews their opening acts. So we thought you might enjoy meeting the Lords of Liechtenstein.
From a safe distance, of course. These Battling Brothers, Dan and Noah Rauchwerk, are a volatile mixture that can go off at any minute.
It’s brilliant programming by the Sanctuary; these Mauling Millennials should provide a counterpoint to Aztec’s peace-love-hippie vibes from the Nixon years.
So here goes:
MorristownGreen.com: I see that you’re opening for Aztec Two-Step. The Lords have come a long way from that rainswept bloggers tent where we found you in Morristown, haven’t you?
Lords of Liechtenstein: Yes, we have. We’ve come approximately six miles.
MG: Aztec Two-Step has been together for 45 years. Who do you think you guys will be opening for in 45 years?
LoL: Probably actual royalty from Liechtenstein. We’ll be the royal court musicians.
MG: Do you two still beat each other up on stage? Does a certain element of your audience come out just for that, like a hockey crowd?
LoL: Only when we’re performing at UFC events. Yes, you know folk crowds. They’re quite bloodthirsty.
MG: Let’s talk about your trademark argyle sweater vests. Have any animal rights groups boycotted your act?
LoL: We certainly hope not! We’re big animal rights advocates ourselves. We like to think of our sweater vests as more cruel to our self-esteem.
MG. Has the Argyle Association invited you to tour Scotland? Liechtenstein?
LoL: Unfortunately not. We spend most of our time sitting around and waiting for their call.
MG: Ukuleles are a big part of your act. Have you considered putting one in a sweater vest?
LoL: We actually have an argyle ukulele! It was given to us by Berni McMahon who runs a wonderful uke festival in the Berkshires called Uke ‘N’ Brew.
MG: How would you describe your new album, Oh, Hello Sweetie Pie?
LoL: It’s as diverse as it is long. The fifteen songs run the gamut from humorous takes on movie monsters’ inner thoughts to serious commentaries on tough topics like wrongful incarceration and gentrification. It’s also pretty musically diverse with whispered folk ballads and bawdy garage rock songs mashed together to represent the full range of our emotions. Can you tell that we’re excited about it?
MG: Did you beat each other up in the recording studio?
LoL: Nope. Fighting and thousands of dollars worth of recording equipment don’t mix too well.
MG: Who gets more fan mail, Dan or Noah?
LoL: Noah. Dan gets more fan telegrams.
MG: Do you personally sign the responses, or do you have one of those rubber stamps?
LoL: We reply to all of them with a canned response: “Thanks for your letter. It was nice. We liked the part when you talked about music. Also you have great handwriting. May all of your children grow up to be governors.”
MG: What’s the weather like in Liechtenstein this time of year?
LoL: It’s generally cloudy with a chance of argyle.
MG: How do you split your performance fees — by age, size, or what?
LoL: Whoever gets the fee from the venue hides it in his shoe and doesn’t tell the other one about it.
MG: Have the Lords bought their parents a new house, like most stars do?
LoL: Nah, they’ve got a house. We’re saving up to buy them a spaceship.
MG: Has your mom ever had to come on stage to break up a fight?
LoL: Goodness no. If she actually had to do that she’d cry and we’d feel really bad.
MG: Anything else you’d like to share with folks coming to the show?
LoL: Aztec Two-Step is simply amazing. Regardless of what you think of us, you’ll love them.
MG: Thanks, guys. Try not to beat yourselves up over this interview.
LoL: POW! Too late…
Aztec Two-Step will be closing for openers Lords of Liechtenstein on Saturday, March 19, 2016, at 8 pm, at The Sanctuary Concerts, in the Presbyterian Church, 240 Southern Blvd., Chatham. Admission: $25; an extra $10 gets you a VIP sound check with Aztec.
Video: Aztec Two-Step performs Stargazers
Video: Siberia by the Lords of Liechtenstein