One thumbs-up to the Morristown Memorial Hospital E.R.

thumb dislocated x-ray
3

We would give two thumbs up, but one of them is in a splint right now.

When your correspondent limped into Morristown Memorial’s emergency room on Thursday night, his right thumb looked like this:

thumb dislocated x-rayThe culprit, of course, was a softball.

We survived years of hockey with nary a scratch, save for the odd concussion and a tooth here and there. But softball, that’s a blood sport. Skinned knees. Countless hamstring pulls. That short hop at third a few years ago, worth 13 stitches. (So much for the movie career.)

And now this–our mousing thumb.

Oh, and let’s not forget the sprained uvula, which hurled itself like a Secret Service agent in front of a speeding train of profanity that surely would have earned your humble shortstop a lifetime suspension from the church softball team–and maybe an eternal ban from The Commissioner.

A pre-game team prayer had requested, among other things, an injury-free contest. But the prayer was in Methodist. Clearly, this lapsed Catholic needs to work on that part of his game.

Even more crucial is this rudimentary lesson.  When stabbing a line drive, make sure to stab it with this:

baseball gloveInstead of this:

bare hand

HIPAA rules prevent us from giving a shout-out to an old friend who also landed in the E.R. last night. You know who you are; feel better!

The staff, alas, does not enjoy the same protections. So we wish to thank Doctors Spano and Walsh, along with Terry and Ann and Desmond and everyone else at Morristown Memorial who made sure our dislocated thumb was in good hands.

In closing, your correspondent offers this advice to fellow church-leaguers:

When a hellacious smash is heading your way, ask yourself…

WWJD?

What Would Jeter Do?

Now, let us bow our heads and thank God for Vicodin.

Amen!

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