‘Simple things made her happy’ : Celebrating the life of a young Morristown fire secretary

Heather Bendel with her nephew, Anthony. Photo courtesy of Matt Bendel.
Heather Bendel with her nephew, Anthony. Photo courtesy of Matt Bendel.
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BEST FRIENDS: Melissa Hendershot, left, with the late Heather Bendel. Photo courtesy of Melissa Hendershot
BEST FRIENDS: Melissa Hendershot, left, with the late Heather Bendel in 2015. Photo courtesy of Melissa Hendershot

By Kevin Coughlin

The text message ended with “Sis, I love you.” Melissa Hendershot will treasure it forever.

Heather Marie Bendel, her best friend, sent it on the afternoon of April 1, 2016, just hours before she was killed in a car crash in Rockaway Township.

“She was an amazing girl,” Hendershot said Thursday at the Morris Plains VFW post, where a throng of friends and family gathered to celebrate the life of the 31-year-old secretary to Morristown Fire Chief Robert Flanagan.

Heather Marie Bendel.
Heather Marie Bendel.

Flanagan spoke at the memorial, and Morristown Mayor Tim Dougherty brought a proclamation.  The impressive turnout was fitting, said Heather’s mom, Beth Bendel.

“She was always there for you. If you needed something, you just went to Heather. She would do anything for you,” the mother said.

“She cared more about other people than for herself,” echoed Matt Bendel, who fondly remembered taking his first roller coaster ride with his older sister at Wildwood.

When Heather inquired how you were doing, “she was sincere. She wanted to know you were okay, that everything was good,”  said Matt, an employee of the town public works department.

Their father, Ricky Bendel, is a retired Morristown policeman, and their stepmother, Robin Kesselmeyer, is the town’s deputy clerk.

BUNNIES AND BON JOVI

Heather resided in Parsippany’s Mt. Tabor section and graduated from Parsippany Hills High School, where she ran track.  For six years she made the Morristown Fire Department “run so smoothly and efficiently,” said Chief Flanagan. “She will be sorely missed.”

She loved candles and soaps and clothes, and Michael Jackson and Bon Jovi and Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Freebird.  Another pastime was movie comedies–Magic Mike was the last one she bought at “Wallie World,” her nickname for Walmart, her favorite store, recounted Hendershot.

“Simple things made her happy,” the friend said.

Heather Bendel with her nephew, Anthony. Photo courtesy of Matt Bendel.
Heather Bendel with her nephew, Anthony. Photo courtesy of Matt Bendel.

Family topped that list. Matt Bendel said Heather was a doting aunt to his 4-year-old son, Anthony. That went for Hendershot’s 14-month-old son, Cole, as well.

“Every time she came over, she would bring my son his favorite crackers, or his favorite Elmo movie. She would never show up empty-handed,” she said.

Sometimes, Heather even brought Moo Shu, the bunny she adopted from St. Hubert’s Animal Welfare Center.   Five cats and a dog, Odie, rounded out Heather’s menagerie.

Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves; Heather proclaimed her love for animals on her foot, with a cheetah tattoo.  She never left Hendershot’s home without giving her host’s dog a treat.

The friends met 13 years ago, when both were waitresses at Pete’s Tavern in Morristown.

“She was so bubbly and full of life. We clicked automatically,” said Hendershot, a 33-year-old Parsippany resident who works for an ATM company.

PEDICURES AND PICKET FENCES

Heather had left Walmart after running some errands last Friday when the fatal crash occurred, according to her friend.

It happened at 6:54 pm last Friday, when Heather’s 2012 Honda, making a right turn, collided with a 2014 Mercedes in front of TD Bank on Mount Hope Avenue. The other driver, a 51-year-old Denville man, was not injured, according to media reports. Rockaway Police are asking eyewitnesses to contact them at 973-625-4000.

Heather had visited “Sissy” — as she called Hendershot, who is “Missy” to others–the night before she died.  They ate cheesy breadsticks from Papa John’s and hatched plans for weekend pedicures and manicures.

Longer term, Heather longed to start her own family, with a house and white picket fence, Hendershot said.

“That’s what she dreamed about. It’s so sad she’s not here to experience it,” said her friend, who keeps expecting another text asking what’s for dinner.

Instead, she has that last message and a Gucci scarf, a treasured gift. Above all, Hendershot prizes the memory of Heather’s brassy “Hello!” that announced every visit, and the sisterly “I told you so!” Heather delivered whenever, say, the bathroom was short of toilet paper.

“I’m never going to forget the deep-down, genuine love she had for us. It wasn’t fake. She didn’t have to say it. We felt that,” Hendershot said. “I wish she was still here. I can’t wait to see her again.”

In lieu of flowers, Heather’s  family suggests donations be sent to St. Hubert’s Animal Welfare Center, 575 Woodland Ave., Madison, NJ 07940; or to any animal charity.

 

 

 

1 COMMENT

  1. How can there be no witness reports of what happened to this woman? She was thrown from her car with it landed on its side on top of her and no one saw anything? What about the other driver? Or the drivers at this intersection at the time?
    Prayers to the family and close friends and the firemen she worked with. Such a tragic loss.

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